Wednesday, March 25, 2009

tension headache?

My "tension headache" started this morning around 9:30. I felt like I was going to throw up. It hurt more on the left side. My stomach is upset still.

...sounds like these are migraines...but I can't tell.

There is A LOT of stress in my life right now. Things I cannot control. That usually upsets my stomach anyway (very good for weight loss...just kidding...sort of...)

Maybe just a tension headache.

Maybe a migraine brought on by stress.

I don't know what to treat this with. Alieve won't help. (sounds like a migraine!)

Perhaps I shall call in the guns (my neurologist and his nurse) to help with this problem. It's been going on since Sunday. I can tolerate the pain while having it. I can't, however, have much endurance or tolerance for a long term problem.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Just Plain Headache

I had a headache yesterday.

I'm 90% sure it was just a tension headache. I don't mean "just a.." to imply it wasn't just as painful--it was, if not more it seemed, more painful than some of my migraines. But I didn't have any additional symptoms and it was across my forehead and wrapped from ear to ear, like a headband, putting immense pressure in my eyes.

No light sensitivity (I don't ever get this anyway), no nausea, and though loud sounds hurt, running water or putting silverware away didn't bother me.

It's nice to know I can have a regular headache every once in a while.

Though I remember last year about this time, I took a migraine preventative treatment and it took these "non-migraine" headaches away. My neurologist's take on that was that the "non-migraine" headaches were probably migraines, as well.

I think it is interesting when people describe all of their worst headaches as migraines. On the flip, some people with mild headaches are actually having migraines and don't know there are better treatments than the naproxen, tylonel, or ibuprofen that may not be working for them.

I know that sometimes my migraines are mild, but because of the timing, the symptoms, the aura that precedes them, I know it's a migraine. I feel silly sometimes when I am having a migraine, but going about the day as normal, and somebody finds out that I'm having a migraine. They think I should be laying down in a dark room instead of doing errands, laundry, cooking dinner, being at the park. Like I'm some kind of martyr or something. I am definitely NOT a martyr! I'm an ultra sensitive, pain hating drama queen.

Lately my headaches (or migraines) last about four hours. That is a big change and a great relief, from how my headaches used to be. I would either have a two day migraine, or sometimes would have a few firing off every day for a week. Sometimes I would get a monster migraine that would only last half a day, but would leave me exhausted the next.

Whichever the head pain is called, however it is categorized, whatever the treatment is... headaches are a big disrupt to the flow of life. I feel like I'm better at them, though...like a professional migraineur. Yes! That is what I am! I've done plenty of study, asked my doctors numerous questions, and analyzed every little bit of my life before, during and after migraines. I'm an (almost) expert at how my body works and doesn't.

This self-absorption is tiring, but needed in figuring out how to function. Someday I hope I will not be thinking so much about migraines. Someday I hope I will have so little to do with migraines that this blog will be years old with nothing written. But as it is, I will push forward doing what I do. Following my doctor's orders, getting enough rest, drinking enough water, exercising and taking care of my stress.

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Ebb


As my cycle (sorry, boys) ends, I feel the end of the migraine.

I am grateful that there is an ebb.

It used to not matter what I did, it was always a migraine, always. I haven't had to use the prednisone taper for a few months now.

Now it is only cyclic. A few days before (or in this case, about four days) it starts and then during and then it goes. I don't use the prednisone taper on my period because I know it is just my period and that when that stops, so will my migraines.

In a few weeks I will most likely have a migraine, but only for a day or two. Then in a month, another week of headaches. Then an ebb.

I can take it when it's predictable. It's okay when I know about the pain, how long it will last and understand why I'm experiencing it all. More importantly I know what works for me to bring comfort and even function, and I know how to communicate all this to my husband and children.

So I probably (hopefully) will have nothing personal to post for a few weeks. Unless there is some current event that I need to write about.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Mini Migraine Me

Yesterday I felt like I was on the verge of throwing up for the majority of the day.

At first I thought it was that I hadn't eaten; so I ate. No change.

Then I drank a lot of water (so counter-intuitive when nauseated, right?) and though this didn't make my nausea worse, it didn't help.

I fully expected to have started my cycle, but I didn't. Which brought me to thoughts of pregnancy, though we're careful right now to not conceive until my health improves. So I wasted another test (my husband told me I could have just peed on a ten dollar bill, instead) to take that small anxiety away.

It was just a migraine. Just. The headache was not that bad. I didn't take anything. It was the nausea that bothered me the most. But no vertigo, so that is so very nice. (Do you see how positive I can be? It's better than the other option.)

Last night, when I got into bed, I had that horrible piercing pain at the front right corner of my skull. It was only two times, about five minutes apart and about one minute each time. That time frame is nothing, but during this experience I fear that it won't ever stop. Self talk gets me through it. Having experienced this type of pain before I know that it is acute. I breathe through it...like a contraction.

Funny how I used to compare all of my pain experiences to labor. I'm sure I will, in the future, compare my labor to migraines. Of course, not this tiny migraine I had last night (and am still having effects of this morning) since that was nothing. I compare my migraines to migraines. I've really only had a few that made me shake and shiver and cry and moan and hope to vomit to relieve some pressure. Thankfully, most of mine are not like that. They are strong enough to affect my day, thye aren't enough to stop me from doing what I need to do (translation: I'm on the couch but can still feed my three year old and pick up my daughter from the bus stop). Though I do admit to throwing small pity parties through them. I would invite you, but most of the time I like to go alone...and I'm just not very nice at those functions.

I hope (and assume) this is just my menses talking and I'm not slowly diving into the hell of headaches that I used to call normal. Positive thoughts....maybe some light yoga today...maybe a walk through the garden.

So here goes another day of tailoring my activities. It will be over in one week...I beg my hopes.

Friday, March 6, 2009

a tiny hiccup

Last night I was talking to my husband and mid-sentence was interrupted suddenly with subtle dizziness and nausea. It only lasted a few seconds and then went away, but was followed with a little bit of ringing in my ear and then a dull headache. (My migraines generally start with severe vertigo. I get the visual auras only a few times a year. Though sometimes I have no aura at all.)

It felt like the beginning of vertigo. I usually have a minute before I can't walk and I begin throwing up. It's nice because it helps me be prepared and have time to get to a toilet or at least get a bowl. Then after I calm down from throwing up and the vertigo subsides, I take my migranal spray. I wait an hour and if I still have a headache and nausea, I take three aspirin and my anti-nausea drug. Though sometimes (and this was when I would have an average of five migraines a week) I wouldn't take the spray and just risk it, saving the spray for a more important day of that week.

But that life was three months ago. And when I had that flash of vertigo and nausea last night it was so gloomy to me. I can handle the pain. It's not fun, but that was my life for a full year and a half and I have survived, and survived very well. It was the thought of having these three months off only to go back to that chronic life that revolved around my migraines...I just didn't want to go there.

I didn't take any drugs last night. It didn't bloom into full blown vertigo though my head started hurting a bit after. It was bedtime, anyway. I have never usually taken anything before bedtime for my migraines. I reserve those heavy abortive treatments for when I really need it: during the day with my children.

I'm tired today. So I took it easy today. I ran a few errands and did laundry, then took a nap with my three year old this afternoon. I know it's just my monthly cycle starting up in a few days or so, and I've decided to start taking alieve every twelve hours starting tonight. It's what my neurologist suggested once and I hope it will help as a buffer. We'll see.

I've found a migraineur's life is all about experimentation, moderation, and flexibility.