I don't want to bow to the Beasty

So I have already stated on my previous post that I started a prednisone taper on Tuesday. It is now Saturday and this morning I took 40 mg of the steroid. About an hour ago I was doing some chores with my husband and all of a sudden it happened: visual aura.

It was a bit gradual--at first I just said, "oh no, something is off. I can see but I can't." The squiggly lines or tunnel vision or one-sided blindness (those are my particular visual auras that occur--my brother describes his as a donut, so they vary) hadn't happened yet, it was just a vague partial blindness. I quickly finished what I needed to help him with and then moved into fixing the toilet, my next project. By then the squiggly lines happened. Zig zags of light streaking through my right-side's vision. I didn't finish fixing the toilet (at least it is the third bathroom and not the only-so it can wait!), though the zigzags of light only lasted fifteen or so minutes.

I am out of my abortive medicine and I always get uncomfortable taking prednisone with heavy duty drugs anyway, since prednisone is a heavy duty drug already. 40 mg is no small dosage for the day. My brother takes two tylonel and three advil when he gets his "donut" migraine and so I am trying that today.

My left side is starting to ache from the back of my skull to the eye, pouring down to the side of my head. The pounding is minimal so far. I hope it fades. One more week on prednisone.

I hate this. Mostly because we are celebrating Halloween tonight and I am hosting. I have an hour before I need to start cooking. My husband said right away, when I stated my vision was off, that we should cancel. I don't want to cancel! I know, I am whiny when I say this. It is just that, and you migraineurs understand I am sure, that I hate these headaches controling my life. I don't want them to win. Cancelling plans is bowing down. I don't want to bow. Not to pain.

So I am going to fake myself well today, the best I can. I will rest for a little while and then get up and go.

And I am desperately trying not to go to that place that questions why the hell I am getting these migraines again. One year. One year it has been since I have had to deal with these regularly. Why now? No--not going there.

I really do hate this.

Signed,
Control Freak.