I had a headache yesterday.
I'm 90% sure it was just a tension headache. I don't mean "just a.." to imply it wasn't just as painful--it was, if not more it seemed, more painful than some of my migraines. But I didn't have any additional symptoms and it was across my forehead and wrapped from ear to ear, like a headband, putting immense pressure in my eyes.
No light sensitivity (I don't ever get this anyway), no nausea, and though loud sounds hurt, running water or putting silverware away didn't bother me.
It's nice to know I can have a regular headache every once in a while.
Though I remember last year about this time, I took a migraine preventative treatment and it took these "non-migraine" headaches away. My neurologist's take on that was that the "non-migraine" headaches were probably migraines, as well.
I think it is interesting when people describe all of their worst headaches as migraines. On the flip, some people with mild headaches are actually having migraines and don't know there are better treatments than the naproxen, tylonel, or ibuprofen that may not be working for them.
I know that sometimes my migraines are mild, but because of the timing, the symptoms, the aura that precedes them, I know it's a migraine. I feel silly sometimes when I am having a migraine, but going about the day as normal, and somebody finds out that I'm having a migraine. They think I should be laying down in a dark room instead of doing errands, laundry, cooking dinner, being at the park. Like I'm some kind of martyr or something. I am definitely NOT a martyr! I'm an ultra sensitive, pain hating drama queen.
Lately my headaches (or migraines) last about four hours. That is a big change and a great relief, from how my headaches used to be. I would either have a two day migraine, or sometimes would have a few firing off every day for a week. Sometimes I would get a monster migraine that would only last half a day, but would leave me exhausted the next.
Whichever the head pain is called, however it is categorized, whatever the treatment is... headaches are a big disrupt to the flow of life. I feel like I'm better at them, though...like a professional migraineur. Yes! That is what I am! I've done plenty of study, asked my doctors numerous questions, and analyzed every little bit of my life before, during and after migraines. I'm an (almost) expert at how my body works and doesn't.
This self-absorption is tiring, but needed in figuring out how to function. Someday I hope I will not be thinking so much about migraines. Someday I hope I will have so little to do with migraines that this blog will be years old with nothing written. But as it is, I will push forward doing what I do. Following my doctor's orders, getting enough rest, drinking enough water, exercising and taking care of my stress.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
The Ebb
As my cycle (sorry, boys) ends, I feel the end of the migraine.
I am grateful that there is an ebb.
It used to not matter what I did, it was always a migraine, always. I haven't had to use the prednisone taper for a few months now.
Now it is only cyclic. A few days before (or in this case, about four days) it starts and then during and then it goes. I don't use the prednisone taper on my period because I know it is just my period and that when that stops, so will my migraines.
In a few weeks I will most likely have a migraine, but only for a day or two. Then in a month, another week of headaches. Then an ebb.
I can take it when it's predictable. It's okay when I know about the pain, how long it will last and understand why I'm experiencing it all. More importantly I know what works for me to bring comfort and even function, and I know how to communicate all this to my husband and children.
So I probably (hopefully) will have nothing personal to post for a few weeks. Unless there is some current event that I need to write about.
I am grateful that there is an ebb.
It used to not matter what I did, it was always a migraine, always. I haven't had to use the prednisone taper for a few months now.
Now it is only cyclic. A few days before (or in this case, about four days) it starts and then during and then it goes. I don't use the prednisone taper on my period because I know it is just my period and that when that stops, so will my migraines.
In a few weeks I will most likely have a migraine, but only for a day or two. Then in a month, another week of headaches. Then an ebb.
I can take it when it's predictable. It's okay when I know about the pain, how long it will last and understand why I'm experiencing it all. More importantly I know what works for me to bring comfort and even function, and I know how to communicate all this to my husband and children.
So I probably (hopefully) will have nothing personal to post for a few weeks. Unless there is some current event that I need to write about.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Mini Migraine Me
Yesterday I felt like I was on the verge of throwing up for the majority of the day.
At first I thought it was that I hadn't eaten; so I ate. No change.
Then I drank a lot of water (so counter-intuitive when nauseated, right?) and though this didn't make my nausea worse, it didn't help.
I fully expected to have started my cycle, but I didn't. Which brought me to thoughts of pregnancy, though we're careful right now to not conceive until my health improves. So I wasted another test (my husband told me I could have just peed on a ten dollar bill, instead) to take that small anxiety away.
It was just a migraine. Just. The headache was not that bad. I didn't take anything. It was the nausea that bothered me the most. But no vertigo, so that is so very nice. (Do you see how positive I can be? It's better than the other option.)
Last night, when I got into bed, I had that horrible piercing pain at the front right corner of my skull. It was only two times, about five minutes apart and about one minute each time. That time frame is nothing, but during this experience I fear that it won't ever stop. Self talk gets me through it. Having experienced this type of pain before I know that it is acute. I breathe through it...like a contraction.
Funny how I used to compare all of my pain experiences to labor. I'm sure I will, in the future, compare my labor to migraines. Of course, not this tiny migraine I had last night (and am still having effects of this morning) since that was nothing. I compare my migraines to migraines. I've really only had a few that made me shake and shiver and cry and moan and hope to vomit to relieve some pressure. Thankfully, most of mine are not like that. They are strong enough to affect my day, thye aren't enough to stop me from doing what I need to do (translation: I'm on the couch but can still feed my three year old and pick up my daughter from the bus stop). Though I do admit to throwing small pity parties through them. I would invite you, but most of the time I like to go alone...and I'm just not very nice at those functions.
I hope (and assume) this is just my menses talking and I'm not slowly diving into the hell of headaches that I used to call normal. Positive thoughts....maybe some light yoga today...maybe a walk through the garden.
So here goes another day of tailoring my activities. It will be over in one week...I beg my hopes.
At first I thought it was that I hadn't eaten; so I ate. No change.
Then I drank a lot of water (so counter-intuitive when nauseated, right?) and though this didn't make my nausea worse, it didn't help.
I fully expected to have started my cycle, but I didn't. Which brought me to thoughts of pregnancy, though we're careful right now to not conceive until my health improves. So I wasted another test (my husband told me I could have just peed on a ten dollar bill, instead) to take that small anxiety away.
It was just a migraine. Just. The headache was not that bad. I didn't take anything. It was the nausea that bothered me the most. But no vertigo, so that is so very nice. (Do you see how positive I can be? It's better than the other option.)
Last night, when I got into bed, I had that horrible piercing pain at the front right corner of my skull. It was only two times, about five minutes apart and about one minute each time. That time frame is nothing, but during this experience I fear that it won't ever stop. Self talk gets me through it. Having experienced this type of pain before I know that it is acute. I breathe through it...like a contraction.
Funny how I used to compare all of my pain experiences to labor. I'm sure I will, in the future, compare my labor to migraines. Of course, not this tiny migraine I had last night (and am still having effects of this morning) since that was nothing. I compare my migraines to migraines. I've really only had a few that made me shake and shiver and cry and moan and hope to vomit to relieve some pressure. Thankfully, most of mine are not like that. They are strong enough to affect my day, thye aren't enough to stop me from doing what I need to do (translation: I'm on the couch but can still feed my three year old and pick up my daughter from the bus stop). Though I do admit to throwing small pity parties through them. I would invite you, but most of the time I like to go alone...and I'm just not very nice at those functions.
I hope (and assume) this is just my menses talking and I'm not slowly diving into the hell of headaches that I used to call normal. Positive thoughts....maybe some light yoga today...maybe a walk through the garden.
So here goes another day of tailoring my activities. It will be over in one week...I beg my hopes.
Friday, March 6, 2009
a tiny hiccup
Last night I was talking to my husband and mid-sentence was interrupted suddenly with subtle dizziness and nausea. It only lasted a few seconds and then went away, but was followed with a little bit of ringing in my ear and then a dull headache. (My migraines generally start with severe vertigo. I get the visual auras only a few times a year. Though sometimes I have no aura at all.)
It felt like the beginning of vertigo. I usually have a minute before I can't walk and I begin throwing up. It's nice because it helps me be prepared and have time to get to a toilet or at least get a bowl. Then after I calm down from throwing up and the vertigo subsides, I take my migranal spray. I wait an hour and if I still have a headache and nausea, I take three aspirin and my anti-nausea drug. Though sometimes (and this was when I would have an average of five migraines a week) I wouldn't take the spray and just risk it, saving the spray for a more important day of that week.
But that life was three months ago. And when I had that flash of vertigo and nausea last night it was so gloomy to me. I can handle the pain. It's not fun, but that was my life for a full year and a half and I have survived, and survived very well. It was the thought of having these three months off only to go back to that chronic life that revolved around my migraines...I just didn't want to go there.
I didn't take any drugs last night. It didn't bloom into full blown vertigo though my head started hurting a bit after. It was bedtime, anyway. I have never usually taken anything before bedtime for my migraines. I reserve those heavy abortive treatments for when I really need it: during the day with my children.
I'm tired today. So I took it easy today. I ran a few errands and did laundry, then took a nap with my three year old this afternoon. I know it's just my monthly cycle starting up in a few days or so, and I've decided to start taking alieve every twelve hours starting tonight. It's what my neurologist suggested once and I hope it will help as a buffer. We'll see.
I've found a migraineur's life is all about experimentation, moderation, and flexibility.
It felt like the beginning of vertigo. I usually have a minute before I can't walk and I begin throwing up. It's nice because it helps me be prepared and have time to get to a toilet or at least get a bowl. Then after I calm down from throwing up and the vertigo subsides, I take my migranal spray. I wait an hour and if I still have a headache and nausea, I take three aspirin and my anti-nausea drug. Though sometimes (and this was when I would have an average of five migraines a week) I wouldn't take the spray and just risk it, saving the spray for a more important day of that week.
But that life was three months ago. And when I had that flash of vertigo and nausea last night it was so gloomy to me. I can handle the pain. It's not fun, but that was my life for a full year and a half and I have survived, and survived very well. It was the thought of having these three months off only to go back to that chronic life that revolved around my migraines...I just didn't want to go there.
I didn't take any drugs last night. It didn't bloom into full blown vertigo though my head started hurting a bit after. It was bedtime, anyway. I have never usually taken anything before bedtime for my migraines. I reserve those heavy abortive treatments for when I really need it: during the day with my children.
I'm tired today. So I took it easy today. I ran a few errands and did laundry, then took a nap with my three year old this afternoon. I know it's just my monthly cycle starting up in a few days or so, and I've decided to start taking alieve every twelve hours starting tonight. It's what my neurologist suggested once and I hope it will help as a buffer. We'll see.
I've found a migraineur's life is all about experimentation, moderation, and flexibility.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Official February News
This past cycle: I had a few small headaches that were short lasting and on one side of the head. But nothing to report except my life is getting back together!
It is a little unbelievable how much migraines can control life. My husband referred to the headaches as "that part of our lives is behind us now" and I am struggling to trust that. But eventually (I hope) life without the fear of a migraine will be the norm and I will look honestly at these migraines as a bad phase in life that I got through with strength.
I can report that it has been three months since I've had migraines a two to six times a week. The number is down to no more than five a month, and probably more like twice a month. That is phenomenal!
And I wish I knew exactly what it was to change this. My body's hormones, perhaps. The butterbur, perhaps. The yoga, perhaps. My advice to those suffering: go with your instincts on your care, be assertive with your neurologist, be aggressive on the research, and find something (healthy) that gives you peace, like yoga, writing, or the beach. It is important to find normalcy, some kind of normalcy, when you can't control what your body is doing.
Exercise is wonderful--and I know, that is the last thing you want to do when you are sure you will throw up, or you want to curl into fetal position in a dark, quiet room. But when the vomiting subsides, you're not dizzy, and you're not in too much pain: go for a walk, at least. Get some fresh air.
I know for many diet is key. I didn't find any foods that triggered my migraines. Though one time a smell triggered a migraine. I think for me it was that my body doesn't like change. For those who think it might be food, there is a book out there, I wish I knew the name, but it talks specifically about foods and migraines. My cousin mentioned it to me once, it helped her a lot, and if I find out the name, I will rewrite this post with the name.
Until my next post, hang in there.
It is a little unbelievable how much migraines can control life. My husband referred to the headaches as "that part of our lives is behind us now" and I am struggling to trust that. But eventually (I hope) life without the fear of a migraine will be the norm and I will look honestly at these migraines as a bad phase in life that I got through with strength.
I can report that it has been three months since I've had migraines a two to six times a week. The number is down to no more than five a month, and probably more like twice a month. That is phenomenal!
And I wish I knew exactly what it was to change this. My body's hormones, perhaps. The butterbur, perhaps. The yoga, perhaps. My advice to those suffering: go with your instincts on your care, be assertive with your neurologist, be aggressive on the research, and find something (healthy) that gives you peace, like yoga, writing, or the beach. It is important to find normalcy, some kind of normalcy, when you can't control what your body is doing.
Exercise is wonderful--and I know, that is the last thing you want to do when you are sure you will throw up, or you want to curl into fetal position in a dark, quiet room. But when the vomiting subsides, you're not dizzy, and you're not in too much pain: go for a walk, at least. Get some fresh air.
I know for many diet is key. I didn't find any foods that triggered my migraines. Though one time a smell triggered a migraine. I think for me it was that my body doesn't like change. For those who think it might be food, there is a book out there, I wish I knew the name, but it talks specifically about foods and migraines. My cousin mentioned it to me once, it helped her a lot, and if I find out the name, I will rewrite this post with the name.
Until my next post, hang in there.
Monday, February 9, 2009
February Update
It's early to update, really, since my period hasn't started yet. But it is so remarkable to me that migraines haven't been an active part of my life these past few months. My body no longer in a panic, I'm even starting to lose weight!
I think I had a headache a week or so ago (ovulating) but nothing much to report. I don't remember even taking medication for it.
I don't think it is the Vitamin B-2 that has helped me. I am still taking it and will finish the pills I have before talking to my neurologist and then discontinuing them. This isn't to say that the B-2 treatment didn't work for those in the study and won't work for another person; I just don't think it made an impact on me.
My migraines did dramatically decline one month after starting the Butterbur at 75 mg/day. I will wait a few more months of consistantly not having migraines before I discuss with my neurologist getting off of this herb.
You see, I'm still a bit of a skeptic. I have left a lot of room in my reasoning that it is just my body going back to wherever it was, before July 2007, before the migraines began. I'm not so sure it is the Butterbur...but it is significant enough and timely, that I will continue this treatment. After all, it doesn't harm me.
I do hope all out there who suffer will be agressive with their neurologist (again I repeat, if you are not seeing a neurologist who has a specialty in headaches--see one!!!) and researching from good sources (and not just anecdotal ones--like this blog!) different treatments.
I think I had a headache a week or so ago (ovulating) but nothing much to report. I don't remember even taking medication for it.
I don't think it is the Vitamin B-2 that has helped me. I am still taking it and will finish the pills I have before talking to my neurologist and then discontinuing them. This isn't to say that the B-2 treatment didn't work for those in the study and won't work for another person; I just don't think it made an impact on me.
My migraines did dramatically decline one month after starting the Butterbur at 75 mg/day. I will wait a few more months of consistantly not having migraines before I discuss with my neurologist getting off of this herb.
You see, I'm still a bit of a skeptic. I have left a lot of room in my reasoning that it is just my body going back to wherever it was, before July 2007, before the migraines began. I'm not so sure it is the Butterbur...but it is significant enough and timely, that I will continue this treatment. After all, it doesn't harm me.
I do hope all out there who suffer will be agressive with their neurologist (again I repeat, if you are not seeing a neurologist who has a specialty in headaches--see one!!!) and researching from good sources (and not just anecdotal ones--like this blog!) different treatments.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
It's been a while
It's been a while since:
1.) I've posted on this blog
and
2.) I've had consistent migraines.
In December I had one migraine a few days before my period, and then small, sharp head pain a few times a day during my period. Then...nothing.
Nothing until a few days before my period this month. Yes, I know, I'm very fortunate. (Well, a few years ago I wouldn't see it that way, but after being a chronic migraineur for a year and a half , I take what I get and find something positive from it.)
So a few days before my period (last Friday, to be exact) I had vertigo. But very slight vertigo where nothing happened except that I felt like I was on a ship for a second or two a few times in five minutes and no vomiting. But no headache until the next day. I was very tired on Saturday, as well. And then Sunday I had some of that terrifying but benign vertigo again, where I feared a public display of dizziness and vomiting, but it didn't happen. My husband and I are very in tune to this vertigo drill. We were at church, in the chapel, when it occurred. I just had to whisper, "vertigo", to him and we waited to see what would happen. After 3o seconds, I knew it wasn't going to turn into anything. I'm so grateful that when I get the vertigo, I have about a 30 second warning before it gets progressively worse. So I had a headache after that little vertigo tease and then was fine all week.
Until two days ago. I was shopping at Macy's and in the dressing room when I got dizzy. As always, I tried to rationalize it away. "Maybe there is construction in the building and the floor got uneven for a second." or "Maybe it's just because I had my head down and stood up too quickly." I do that a lot. But it is always a migraine.
Five minutes later I was purchasing my clothes and the pain came on intense. I couldn't think straight. Well. I thought enough to quickly grab my migranal (nasal spray for migraines) out of my purse and set it up for use. I now always keep a dose in my purse (note to self, put another in there now that I've used up the last one!) so I am not stuck somewhere with a monster headache. I took the spray quickly and after a few minutes was able to get to the car just fine. Fifteen minutes later I took the second dose and was pain free for the day. Tired, but pain free.
The next day a migraine happened again. We were just about to leave to take the girls to the park (an incredibly and surprisingly sunny day in Seattle!) and no vertigo, but intense pain. With that intense pain, I can't think straight. Though I do have enough in me to think, "spray! now!"
I took my second dose in the car on the way to the park. (It's so nice to not have to stop life completely for these headaches, anymore.) We were there for about thirty minutes when I knew that the spray wasn't going to be enough. We stayed at the park a little longer (I'm not going to leave early for some head pain when my three year old doesn't get to do her favorite thing, flying on the swings, very often) and then my husband dropped me off at home and took the girls for an extra errand. He's so good about giving me a little quiet time when I'm adjusting to a headache. I took three aspirin, as prescribed by my neurologist when the spray isn't enough, and this took all the edge off.
It's interesting that I had the headaches before and at the beginning of my period, nothing in the middle, and then at the very end. My body just doesn't like change. Especially estrogen change. I wonder, if this will eventually be controlled and my life completely back; and then if I will go through this during peri-menopause. Nothing I'm worried about now--I've got at least fifteen more years before this occurs (I assume), but I'm just amazed at our bodies never ending changes to hormones.
I'm grateful for my strong body. I'm grateful that I can walk, talk, breathe, see, laugh, read, cook, garden, write. My body is amazing and I can do many things. I'm even able to start to cope with migraines well. For a while, I didn't know if this would ever happen.
...though I really look forward to the post where I write, "Wow. I didn't know this day would come where I can write that I've had NO migraines for two months." something like that, would be victorious.
1.) I've posted on this blog
and
2.) I've had consistent migraines.
In December I had one migraine a few days before my period, and then small, sharp head pain a few times a day during my period. Then...nothing.
Nothing until a few days before my period this month. Yes, I know, I'm very fortunate. (Well, a few years ago I wouldn't see it that way, but after being a chronic migraineur for a year and a half , I take what I get and find something positive from it.)
So a few days before my period (last Friday, to be exact) I had vertigo. But very slight vertigo where nothing happened except that I felt like I was on a ship for a second or two a few times in five minutes and no vomiting. But no headache until the next day. I was very tired on Saturday, as well. And then Sunday I had some of that terrifying but benign vertigo again, where I feared a public display of dizziness and vomiting, but it didn't happen. My husband and I are very in tune to this vertigo drill. We were at church, in the chapel, when it occurred. I just had to whisper, "vertigo", to him and we waited to see what would happen. After 3o seconds, I knew it wasn't going to turn into anything. I'm so grateful that when I get the vertigo, I have about a 30 second warning before it gets progressively worse. So I had a headache after that little vertigo tease and then was fine all week.
Until two days ago. I was shopping at Macy's and in the dressing room when I got dizzy. As always, I tried to rationalize it away. "Maybe there is construction in the building and the floor got uneven for a second." or "Maybe it's just because I had my head down and stood up too quickly." I do that a lot. But it is always a migraine.
Five minutes later I was purchasing my clothes and the pain came on intense. I couldn't think straight. Well. I thought enough to quickly grab my migranal (nasal spray for migraines) out of my purse and set it up for use. I now always keep a dose in my purse (note to self, put another in there now that I've used up the last one!) so I am not stuck somewhere with a monster headache. I took the spray quickly and after a few minutes was able to get to the car just fine. Fifteen minutes later I took the second dose and was pain free for the day. Tired, but pain free.
The next day a migraine happened again. We were just about to leave to take the girls to the park (an incredibly and surprisingly sunny day in Seattle!) and no vertigo, but intense pain. With that intense pain, I can't think straight. Though I do have enough in me to think, "spray! now!"
I took my second dose in the car on the way to the park. (It's so nice to not have to stop life completely for these headaches, anymore.) We were there for about thirty minutes when I knew that the spray wasn't going to be enough. We stayed at the park a little longer (I'm not going to leave early for some head pain when my three year old doesn't get to do her favorite thing, flying on the swings, very often) and then my husband dropped me off at home and took the girls for an extra errand. He's so good about giving me a little quiet time when I'm adjusting to a headache. I took three aspirin, as prescribed by my neurologist when the spray isn't enough, and this took all the edge off.
It's interesting that I had the headaches before and at the beginning of my period, nothing in the middle, and then at the very end. My body just doesn't like change. Especially estrogen change. I wonder, if this will eventually be controlled and my life completely back; and then if I will go through this during peri-menopause. Nothing I'm worried about now--I've got at least fifteen more years before this occurs (I assume), but I'm just amazed at our bodies never ending changes to hormones.
I'm grateful for my strong body. I'm grateful that I can walk, talk, breathe, see, laugh, read, cook, garden, write. My body is amazing and I can do many things. I'm even able to start to cope with migraines well. For a while, I didn't know if this would ever happen.
...though I really look forward to the post where I write, "Wow. I didn't know this day would come where I can write that I've had NO migraines for two months." something like that, would be victorious.
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